DOWNTOWN — The St. Patrick’s Day crowds that descend on the Kelly green-colored Chicago River don’t leave the vital natural resource as they found it.
But that’s where the Chicago River “rats” come in.
Paddle Rat Collective — a group of tour guides who lead kayak trips on the Chicago River — rang in the start of their kayaking season by fishing out what Paddy’s Day revelers left behind in the green-dyed river.
“Someone threw a beer can at us, so we gave them the finger,” said Sean Carino, a member of the paddle rats. “It sucks the river is constantly just a douche fest.”
The Paddle Rat Collective teamed up with their counterparts in Cleveland, TRASHFISH, to throw their own St. Patrick’s Day party right on the river, marking the occassion by filling up garbage bags full of its trash.
The collective has pulled out electric scooters, shopping carts, mattresses, beer barrels, coconuts, Divvy bikes, headless rats and lots of condoms, which they call “Chicago jellyfish,” Carino said. Their efforts look to shed light on the treatment of the waterway and also call into question some of the traditions associated the river.
“We grab as much as we can, but to make a dent you would really need a dumpster,” he said. “You paddle by something that should be a spawning salmon, and instead it’s a sparkling Sprite can.”
The time around St. Patrick’s Day can be particularly gnarly period for the river, when debris accumulated over the winter begins thawing out, Carino said. He’s dodged more than his fair share of wild boaters and partiers taking the great green plunge during the rowdy holiday weekend.
The paddle rats have found allies in local river advocacy groups, who have been successful in improving conditions in the Chicago River.
The river is much cleaner than it was six decades ago, when sewage was found in the water an average of every three days. It’s even cleaner than it was almost two decades ago, when a tour bus for the Dave Matthews Band dumped 800 pounds of poop into the river.
Over 75 species of fish, turtles, herons and beavers have returned to the water system, according to Friends of the Chicago River.
The steady improvements have left river advocates calling on the city to reconsider its long-standing tradition of dyeing it green for St. Patrick’s Day.
“When is it time for a new tradition?” a spokesperson for Friends of the Chicago River said in a statement. “We need another marvel that can capture the magic, but would treat our recovering river as a valued natural resource, not just the backdrop for fun.”
Whether the vegetable-based dye — with ingredients famously kept secret — is truly safe for the river has been a topic of debate, and conspiracy, amongst local kayakers, said Phil Nicodemus, research director with Urban Rivers, a nonprofit that cleaned-up and created a floating eco-park on the the Chicago River canal east of Goose Island.
“Whatever the green is, we know it draws a lot of drunk people to the edges of the river, and stuff is going to end up in it,” Nicodemus said. “I get there’s a history here, but it gives people this perception that the river is unhealthy and dangerous. They’re celebrating the river for all the wrong reasons.”
Carino said the green dye — which lingers in the river for days after St. Patrick’s Day weekend — is a topic of heated debate that’s split the paddle rats.
“Some say it’s tradition that brings people around the river to enjoy it, others say this is not the image we want to give of this great resource,” Carino said. “I fall in the camp of, ‘We should at least know exactly the s—t they’re putting in our river.'”
The rat collective formed about three or four years ago, when kayak tour guides would meet at a picnic table by the river to cap off shifts with “some beers and good talks about being on the water,” Carino said. In the summers, some members of the crew live in vans down by the river, so they can work tours all day and hang out on the water all night, Carino said.
“We thought it was time for us to fly under a flag,” Carino said of the group’s origins.
Nicodemus called the paddle rats good citizens of the river.
“We need more community around the river, bringing more attention that it’s under resourced,” Nicodemus said. “It’s community groups doing a lot of the work to remove trash. You need human hands getting into the nooks and crannies.”
Nicodemus called for the Mayor Brandon Johnson’s office to direct a portion of funds from the St. Patrick’s Day tourism bump into river restoration efforts. The Mayor’s Office did not return a request for a comment.
In a statement, a spokesperson for the Metropolitan Water Reclamation District said the agency operates a daily fleet of cleaning boats, which have removed over 70,000 yards of debris from the river in the past 25 years.
“The [reclamation district] not only transforms the region’s wastewater into clean water, but also protects the surface of the water from pollution,” the spokesperson said in the statement. “These debris collection boats provide a vital community service by improving water quality, so that we can enhance the recreational experience for thousands of people canoeing, kayaking, boating, and enjoying the waterways.”
Carino said he’s sympathetic that public agencies can’t catch everything floating along the river — or what’s already made its way to the murky bottom.
But the culture of throwing trash in the river is now spoiled, the paddle rat said.
“You see water flowing, you toss something in it, and think it’s a problem that’s just going to keep floating away,” Carino said. “It deters people from paddling here, and that’s what attracts us.”
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