THE LOOP — “So you wanna meet The Chach?”
The hostess at Pizano’s has led thousands of unsuspecting tourists, date-night couples and those in need of guidance to the tables of a waiter known as much for his prophetic relationship advice as his serving skills.
Over deep-dish pizza and heaping bowls of pasta, a Pizano’s pilgrimage is often served with a spirited one-man show from waiter Joe “The Chach” Chacho. Through two decades of warming up the dining room at Pizano’s, 61 E. Madison St., Chacho has racked up a gluttony of glowing reviews for his priceless slices of wisdom.
“We’re a city of big hearts, and I’m going to make you one of us,” Chacho said. “I’m just The Chach. And I take me to the table.”
On a recent weeknight, Chacho sprang into action to serve the Bhagat family, in town for the day from suburban Darien.
The young Aiden Bhagat, overwhelmed by the intensity of it all, sank into his seat at first. By the end of dinner, he was calling his meal “Chachghetti.”
“I haven’t smiled this much in a while,” dad Hardik Bhagat said as Chacho told him he was lucky his wife, Palak, plucked him out of the pack.
Inside his pizza palace, Chacho wields free desserts and can pour a generous drink or two on the house for couples who’ve passed “The Chach barometer.”
“You show me the ring, I show you the champagne,” Chacho said.
The joyous waiter, 70, claims to have blessed 280 couples on their way from deep dish to the altar. Chacho’s antics have earned him fans the world over.
“People from around the world really come to see The Chach,” said Holly Malnati, communications director for Pizano’s and member of the legendary pizza family that owns Pizano’s and Lou Malnati’s.
The Book Of Chach
On a good night, Chacho will get his tables — from a southern California volleyball team to Hoosiers visiting the Bean to local couples on a night out — all talking to each other.
“Everybody gets to know everybody. That’s how it works,” Chacho said. “Because we need all of us. It’s called the human race.”
The affable waiter of Greek and Sicilian descent often welcomes customers into his “La Famiglia,” but not everyone can make the cut.
“Some people are just un-Chachifiable,” Chacho said. “Someone brought me the wrong guy once, a piece of you-know-what, and I said, ‘You gotta be kidding me. Fuhgeddaboudit.’ I told him to take the bus home.
“Year and a half later, she came back engaged to an architect.”
Chach is full of rosy life lessons and snappy Chach-isms, “pieces of me” he’s collected from a tight-knit upbringing in Berwyn and a past life helping his late father run the family business, which supplied Italian restaurants around Chicago.
“Life is a matter of how many times you get up,” Chacho said. “Does that make sense?”
Chacho likes to dish out his sage advice in a socratic forum.
“The best days of your life are the day you were born and the day you figure out why,” Chacho informed a young couple visiting from New Jersey. “Does that make sense?”
“Goodness is the greatest force in the world,” Chacho said in between snapping photos with customers and coworkers. “Friendship is the glue that holds us together. Every day here means something to me. Every table, every person is another moment. I live life by the moment.
“Does that make sense?”
Chris Spitzer, director of operations at Pizano’s, said he’s unboxed hundreds of T-shirts and gifts bearing names of places from Hawaii to Lithuania, all mailed to his office and addressed simply to “The Chach.”
At first, Spitzer thought Chacho’s bottomless energy was “slightly nuts.”
“That guy doesn’t have an off day,” Spitzer said. “He has this ability to flip the mood of any table. And he’s done it over and over again.”
For that, Chacho has been taken care of by his many gracious guests.
“Like a true professional, he doesn’t talk about his tips,” Spitzer said. “But it’s probably in cash and it’s probably an amount that should never be disclosed.”
‘Chachification’
The family business went belly up after Chacho’s father died. He took a day job as a permit expediter at City Hall and started moonlighting as a waiter at Pizano’s. Chacho is family friends with the Malnati’s, who gave him the job.
His persona came naturally, with Chacho using his charisma to brighten the moods — and minds — of his customers, a process he calls the “Chachification.”
“They blessed me with the gig, so I walked to that first table, opened my mouth and The Chach came out,” Chacho said. “You come in one way, and you leave another, with that piece of me. That’s what ‘Chachification’ is all about.”
Chacho has sent many couples along their way, leftovers in hand and hearts full of joy. But, so far, The Chach has yet to find a love of his own.
“It would be nice if somebody came along,” Chacho said. “I’ve been single my whole life, but I have the biggest family in the world. God had a different plan for me.”
These days, the waiter walks with a wobble and sits for breaks when he can. He’ll never quit. During one break, Chacho smiled as he swiped through text messages from a fresh batch of fans, strangers until they found themselves in his section the night before.
“You’re a legend,” one message read. “Thank you SO much, from Georgia,” read another.
Reservations with The Chach are always open, especially to “anyone who needs it,” the local legend said.
“Life is about becoming the best you,” Chacho said. “I took this little job, and I made it my own.”
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