DOWNTOWN — Chicagoans everywhere are shoveling their cars out of the snow today, and some of them intend to place a chair in those spots in the time-honored tradition that is Chicago dibs.
Being annoyed by dibs is as old as the tradition itself. In 2016, Northwest Siders found fake parking tickets affixed to their yard furniture. In 2015, aldermen threatened to toss chairs and other items placed in the street.
As folks argue online and off about the practice, a new passive tactic has emerged. A website called Dibshit allows dibs haters a chance to shame their neighbors by printing out a ticket that can be given to those practicing dibs.
The ticket resembles an orange Chicago parking ticket, but with some, er, choice changes to the city’s regular language. To start with, “You are a DIBSHIT” is repeated across the ticket.
The faux-citation advises that receiving the ticket is “an embarrassment to you, your family and the human race. Stop looking at this notice in disbelief and anger, and start doing the right thing. Take all of your junk and stick it back in the basement.”
Anyone can print out and distribute the unofficial tickets. In fact, the website encourages, “Ticket the DIBSHIT in your neighborhood — TODAY!”
The ticket is meant to be given in good fun, the maker reminds recipients at the end.
“Remember: As soon as you placed items on public property in an effort to claim it as your own, you became a dibshit,” the ticket reads. “This violation notice is clearly for amusement purposes only, but that does not alleviate the fact that you are a dibshit.”
If printing out fake parking tickets is not your thing, you can also help your neighbors shovel, which is undoubtedly a better use of time and energy.